Rain, No Rain, Tears and Rain

When it rains it pours and opens doors
And floods the floors we thought
would always keep us safe and dry
And in the midst of sailing ships
We sink our lips into the ones we love
That have to say goodbye

And as I float along this ocean, I can feel you
like a notion that won’t seem to let me go

~ Train, When I Look To The Sky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And I wanna know
What goes on in that head of yours
Yeah, I wanna know
'Cause I don't think I can take much more

Rain
You must be sick or something
I can't take another day
Rain
Is falling down
But will the sun come out again?

I never speak up I just try and stay out of the way...
...And I wanna know
What on earth makes you act like this
Yeah, I wanna know
'Cause I don't think I can take this......

Rain...
Sun come out

~ The Wreckers, Rain

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All I can say, you know, my
life it's pretty plain
I like watching the puddles gather rain
And all that I can do is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view, but it's not sane
It's not sane...

All I can say is that is that my life it's pretty plain
You don't like my point of view, and you think that I'm insane
It's not sane

~ Blind Melon, No Rain

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't feel the sun's comin' out today
It's staying in, it's gonna find another way
As I sit here in this misery
I don't think I'll ever see the sun from here...

When you feel life ain't worth living
You've got to stand up and take a look around
and then look way up to the sky...

And as we all play parts of tomorrow
Some ways will work and other ways we'll play
But I know we can't all stay here forever
So I want to write my words on the face of today...

When life is hard, you have to change.

~Blind Melon, Change

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...How I wish I had screamed out loud
Instead I've found no meaning
I guess it's time I've run far, far way
Find comfort in pain, all pleasure's the same
It just keeps me from trouble...

It's more than words, it's just tears and rain.

~James Blunt, Tears and Rain

This-n-That

Been listening to such a wide range of music lately. From Chris Daughtry to John Denver, Carole King to Joan Jett; Jimmy Eat World, Montgomery Gentry, The Eagles, Blind Melon, James Blunt, Point of Grace, The Wreckers, Train, Dixie Chicks, Matchbox Twenty...as usual, I'm all over the place.

Alisa has made a couple of CDs for me the past few months. The first one she titled, "Kiss My Butt Songs." (These were relevant to how I was feeling, not a sentiment she was sending to me!)Yeah, she's funny and supportive (and as real and rough-around-the-edges as her mama). The latest... she says, "These songs make me think of you when I hear them." Great. What I call "The Michael Scott Song" makes my daughter think of me when she hears it? She feels my pain?! Oh man...and she and I don't even talk much anymore. Amazing how we know one another when we don't even express specifics. That's my girl.

Cold

I will do without
The spaces in between
If you can tell me now
What it means to be...

Tell me
Why you gotta be so cold?
How'd you get so high?
Why you're keeping me low...

You're ready to fly
I'm ready to crash

~ Matchbox Twenty

DiAn~This One's For You

Well you know those times
When you feel like there's a sign there on your back
Says "I don't mind if ya kick me"
Seems like everybody has things go from bad to worse
You'd think they can't get worse than that
And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Use the needle of your compass
To sew up your broken heart...
That's when you learn the truth

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

...But the good news is
There're angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back upon your feet
The ones that you been dragging for so long
You're on your knees
You might as well be praying, guess what I'm saying

If you're going through hell, keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there

If you're going through hell, keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there

~Artist, Rodney Atkins


You're talking with God, you've got me. Continue to clear out the clutter and God will bring you through. Keep giving Him the thank yous and the praises and don't be afraid to cry out for help.

Go Light Your World

There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
There is a Spirit who brings a fire
Ignites a candle and makes His home

Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, confused, and torn
And hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle and go light your world
Take your candle, go light your world

Frustrated brother, see how he's tried to
Light his own candle some other way
See now your sister, she's been robbed and lied to
Still holds a candle without a flame

Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the lonely, the tired and worn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, go light your world
Take your candle and go light your world

We are a family whose hearts are blazing
So let's raise our candles and light up the sky
Prayin to our Father in the name of Jesus
Make us a beacon in darkest times

Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the hopeless, decieved, and poor
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle and go light your world

Take out your candle, go light your world

~ Chris Rice

Lessons Learned...ouch

Stayed over too many times without my toothbrush
Stayed over too many times

"Gotta go home, don't have my toothbrush"
"You can use mine," he said
Thought guys hated that
Brought mine a couple of times, penciling-in sin on my calendar
Way too comfortable for eternal consequences

Stayed over too many times without my toothbrush
Stayed over too many times
Stayed over
Stayed
Over

Now I think I have a cavity

A little ugly ouch...dentist can take care of that. The big ugly ouch...still counting on time and God to mend my heart. The indescribable ugly in my soul...Jesus already took care of that. It's over. I've learned my lesson on this one. Thank you, Jesus.

Crashed

Well I was moving at the speed of sound
Head-spinning, couldn't find my way around, and
Didn't know that I was going down
Where I've been, well it's all a blur
What I was looking for, I'm not sure
Too late and didn't see it coming

And then I crashed into you, and I went up in flames
Could've been the death of me, but then you breathed your breath in me
And I crashed into you, like a runaway train
You will consume me, but I can't walk away

Somehow, I couldn't stop myself
I just wanted to know how it felt
Too strong, I couldn't hold on
Now I'm just tryin' to make some sense
Out of how and why this happened
Where we're heading, there's just no knowing

And then I crashed into you, and I went up in flames
Could've been the death of me, but then you breathed your breath in me
And I crashed into you, like a runaway train
You will consume me, but I can't walk away

~ Crashed - Daughtry

I should've walked away when I was anticipating the "crash." But it was a good kind of crash and I really felt it was a God-inspired thing. I was consulting Him, believe me! That's why I finally went with it. Then I guess I went right over the edge and off God's narrow path. There are earthly consequences for that.

Back Then

I never had all the answers
I never had enough time
But I sure had all the reasons
Why you weren't what I wanted to find

I never laid all my cards out
You just wanted to play
The king he waited on my doorsteps
While the joker and me went on our way

~Tennessee - The Wreckers

I Just Don't Know

She: Wanna take some of this food to him?
Me: No
She: Why not?
Me: I don’t know
She: Do you see him at all any more? You don’t talk at all?
Me: No, not really
She: Why not?
Me: I don’t know
She: Is he still with that girl?
Me: Yes
She: Why?
Me: I don’t know
She: I don’t know either
(silence)
She: You love him.
(silence)
She: You should tell him
Me: He knows
She: He probably doesn’t really know.
Me: He knows
She: You need to tell him.

He knows.
I just don't know.

Joy

Daughtry

More Little Big Town

Again, from Nov/Dec. I didn't get it all said. I let a bunch out here, but kept most of LBT underwraps. Trying to let it out so I can deal with that anyway.

How can I bear to wake up and you're not there
What will I do when I turn and reach for you
I lay my tears on the windowsill
I'll only cry 'til I get over you
But how long will it take me
Won't you save me

Stay, just a little bit longer
'Til I'm a little bit stronger to take all this and
Stay, just a little more time 'til I can find a way
Please stay

Will I ever smile again when losing love takes my best friend
To wonder where, wonder how, I wonder what you're doing
One more night just before you break me
Hold me safely

Stay, just a little bit longer
'Til I'm a little bit stronger to take all this and
Stay, just a little more time 'til I can find a way
Please stay

So I'll be a big girl and close my eyes
As you walk away don't say goodbye
God save me, please won't you
Stay
Just a little bit longer

THIS is the rerun. From Nov/Dec.

You plowed over me like a tractor
You used me up and put me out to pasture
I'm left to eat your dust
Guess you're thinkin' that we must be done

You said you got my back every minute
Well, you do, you've got it there to put your dagger in it
And knowing what I need
Still you stood and watched me bleed

Wounded, I'm wounded
I'm battered and broken and bruised
Wounded, I'm wounded
Just wonderin' why you do me like you do

I feel betrayed and so manipulated
I call a spade a spade, you call me jaded
Well, what do you expect You give me no respect

~Little Big Town

Rerun ~ Here We Go Again

Lingering effects and unanswered questions. Too much assuming and compensating for the unknown. Trying to get by and move past something. What am I trying to get past? And then how? I try to let go and give it to God to take care of. It's still here. It's like He tells me to just deal with it. You know, one of those "you made your bed..." things. His modern day famine and flood, disease and destruction. "Take that." I take it. I accept it. I guess I really don't have enough faith that He's going to take care of this. Why should he? I'm the one who broke the rules. Let my guard down. He forgives, but there are still earthly consequences. That old testament wrath. So, I pull out the music that I had put away because it hurt too badly. And I'm back to this. Love, pain, and the whole crazy thing.

What am I suppose to do?