The Song Remembers When*

Music is my escape. The song really does remember when, and it takes me right back to the moment. Always has. I don't just hear the tune. I feel everything. The music, the words, the emotion, the joy, the pain. Reminds me of another Mary Chapin Carpenter song:

It's the first time that you held my hand
It's the smell and the taste and the fear and the thrill
It's everything I understand
And all the things I never will

~ Where Time Stands Still

Music just takes me right back there. That's always been a good thing for me until recently. So much of my favorite music I still can't listen to right now. I feel it too much.

So many songs, but even more...so many artists. Their voices.

Even Chris Tomlin. I can't hear his voice without choking up. It's ridiculous I know. I've tried to force myself, but I just can't. Played a CT video on my computer one day and got all messed up for the rest of the day. Forced myself to watch and listen thinking I'd just get it all out. It's never gonna be all out. Had a chance to see him live, but I can't do it. Thought I could. Thought time might get me to a place where I could. I put on the CD at home and try to force myself to get past it, but I can't. I need my music escape back.

The songs, the voices, the overwhelming emotion...it all remembers all too well when. There's that stain on everyone of my good days.**

I've got to go through all of my CDs and find something that has no ties. I've got them, I've just got to dig them up.

*The Song Remembers When, Trisha Yearwood
**Disease, Matchbox Twenty